Earning your seat at the table

Over the last few weeks, I’ve talked about discipline.

Then we shared the importance of circles.

Who you keep close.
Who you trust.
Who really matters.

This week, I want to take that one step further.

The person we are, the quiet and consistent work we do, and the values we live by shape who we’re invited to sit alongside.

That’s how circles are formed.

Invitation, not expectation.

When I talk about earning your seat at the table, let me be clear - I’m not talking about status or titles.

I’m talking about trust and credibility.

Earlier this week, I attended a funeral in Manchester.

I was there at the request of a friend, someone I first met four years ago when we were both speaking at the same gig.

We stayed in each other’s orbit after that.

Not because of opportunity.

Because of trust.

He asked me to be there quietly for him. To help if needed. To stay out of the way if not.

The room was full. Over five hundred people. Familiar faces. Media present.

It mattered that the focus stayed where it belonged.

He trusted that I had the judgement to step in if needed.

And the discipline to stay at a distance if not.

That’s what earning a seat looks like.

Not visibility.
Judgement.

Courage to act.
Restraint to hold back.
The ability to put others first.

As we parted, he caught my eye, nodded, and said,

“Thanks mate, that can be used for The Sunday Briefing.”

I’ve also seen what happens when people expect a seat without earning it.

When they take but don’t give.

When they borrow credibility instead of building it.

Proximity is mistaken for contribution.

Everything ends up on social media.

Selfies mistaken for real connection.

That rarely ends well.

Earning a seat takes time.

Years of showing up for others.

Working alone.
Building quietly.

Proving, to yourself first, that you’re worthy of the trust you’re asking for.

And even when you’re invited to sit, if you’re paying attention, there’s often a moment of unease.

That’s not insecurity.
That’s humility.

And humility matters. 

It reminds you how fortunate you are and how easily that seat can be lost.

Before we go any further, let’s take a moment to debrief together:

Where in your life are you hoping to be included but haven’t yet earned the trust required to truly belong?

And just as important, where are you already inside the circle and need to keep showing up properly?

No judgement.
Just signal.

Strong circles aren’t held together by reputation or noise.

They’re held together by contribution.

Seats aren’t claimed.

They’re earned and then protected.

Your mission this week:

Find one place in your circle where you can add real value without being asked.

Do it quietly.
Do it well.
And don’t keep score.

That’s enough for now.

More next Sunday.

Mike
Hold the line. Do the hard things.