Who Shows Up When It Costs Them
Last Sunday I flew to Belfast for a christening.
Door to door the journey took about three hours.
I was there for eighteen total.
It took the whole weekend.
Time that’s already accounted for.
The flight was delayed.
I landed, went straight to the hotel, got changed in five minutes and walked into the church just as everyone was arriving.
No buffer.
Just in time.
Afterwards, I went back to my friend’s house.
Good food, great conversation, a few precious hours together.
Then I was in bed by 20:00.
Early flight home the next morning.
In and out.
Starting this week off tired.
On paper, it makes no sense.
But not everything is meant to.
It was a privilege to be asked to be Godfather to his son.
A real one. The kind that carries weight.
The kind that comes with responsibility and presence.
I had that growing up.
A man I called Uncle Mick.
Not family by blood.
Closer than most who were.
Alongside my grandfather, he was one of the only real male role models I had.
He taught me what it meant to put family first.
To show up.
To do what needed doing, whether it was convenient or not.
He worked in a factory, lived in a tiny mind-terrace house and had very little - but all I remember was laughter, love and my Auntie Pat’s amazing home-cooked food.
The good times.
Both of them are gone now.
And I miss them. More than I ever expected to.
The man who asked me to be Godfather is one of my oldest friends.
Over twenty five years.
One of the few.
You don’t get many of those.
If you need more than one hand to count them on, they’re probably not that close.
When I left my former life in the shadows, things changed.
Not gradually.
Immediately.
People I’d known for years disappeared.
Some quietly.
Some made sure it was seen.
Careers came first. Reputations came first.
Distance was created.
Then encouraged.
In some cases, instructed.
And most fell into line.
He didn’t.
He stayed.
He pushed back.
He made a decision - and then stood by it.
No headlines.
No noise.
Just quiet loyalty and the acceptance of the cost that comes by going against the mob.
That’s rare.
Much rarer than people like to admit.
Before we go any further, let’s take a moment to debrief together:
Who are the people in your life that would still be there if it cost them something?
Not when it’s easy.
When it actually costs them.
And be honest - are you one of those people for anyone else?
Most people don’t lose friendships in dramatic ways.
There’s no fallout.
No defining moment.
They just stop showing up.
A message not sent.
A call not made.
A trip not taken.
And over time, the distance becomes permanent.
Last weekend wasn’t efficient.
It wasn’t productive.
It didn’t move anything forward on paper.
But it mattered more than any of that.
We all will live to regret the good relationships we didn’t maintain.
Your mission this week (if you choose to accept it):
Take action on one relationship that really matters.
Not the easy one.
The one you’ve been putting off.
Make the call.
Send the message.
Book the trip.
Show up.
In the end, it won’t be the things you built or the deals you closed that stay with you.
It will be the people who stood beside you.
And the moments you chose to stand beside them.
That’s enough for now.
More next Sunday.
Mike
Hold the line. Do the hard things.
